Updated: Nov 6, 2019
They say your late 20’s to early 30’s can be the most complicated time of your adult life. Especially caused by high stress and anxiety from new found responsibilities. Around this age, we’re trying to get our feet under us. We’re dealing with the pressures of committing to jobs or relationships. Trying to balance social involvement with hectic life schedules. Moving to new cities. Trying to establish life as an adult but sometimes feeling trapped by circumstances. The reality is there’s no way to avoid this transitional and sometimes awkward phase.
I was 25 when I moved to Nashville, TN for graduate school. Living my transitional phase full force. I was full of life and excited for my new start. I was excited about experiencing a new city, creating new expectations, and finding new opportunities. I spent the first few months focusing on school and getting acquainted with my new city. Eventually I started back working in my professional field.
When I graduated, I was 2 years into my position. For the most part work was keeping me busy but I had a lot of new free time. I still enjoyed Nashville, but I started feeling a void. I started to want more. I always told myself when I had time, I would start a business or a program that would make difference in my community. Did I have a business in mind? Nope. Did I know exactly what type of program I wanted to create? No. Did I know how I wanted to create it? Negative. I really hadn’t decided my direction, but I knew I had the free time to get started. I figured I would work ‘work’ during the day then work whatever this idea was in the evening.
Of course, it was easier said than done. I got comfortable with my free time. Really, I was trying to make up for that lost time in school, lol. And to top it off my work ‘work’ started to drain me. It was to the point it was affecting my attitude after I got off. Then my attitude started to compromise my motivation. Not to mention, I was a real adult now with real adult responsibilities. I felt like I was losing my drive. Losing my power. And living a distance from my family and friends, my support system felt strained. My life felt out of balance.
Fast forward to age 29, my friends and I all started realizing the impact of our transitional phases. We were ‘officially’ adults with enough responsibility to show for it. We were all living in different states with hectic schedules and learning to cope with adulting. Nonetheless, we always tried to be as supportive as possible, regardless of our personal circumstances. Even that was strained sometimes because of our distance. We were missing was the random girls nights. Our digression sessions. The “what you doing? I’m on my way over” calls. SPONTANEITY! Only getting together for birthday’s and major events wasn’t always enough. We knew we had to expand the parameters of our support system.
We started by talking out areas of our lives that were challenging and areas we wanted to improve. We also started a prayer pact. Each of us were assigned a day. For that day we directed prayers toward that person. Praying for strength, peace, guidance, and clarity. We also incorporated fast days. We wanted to be sure God was the head our journey’s and our paths. We made a point to start motivating each other daily. Encouraging and inspiring each other. Sharing self-care techniques. We gradually started realizing our circumstances weren’t that extreme, we just needed to find our balance. We knew once we found balance, we had to then learn to maintain it. We started pushing ourselves outside the standard confines of adulting. We agreed that adulting didn’t have to limit our personal development and social gratification. We stopped letting our circumstances hinder our growth
We took this journey together as friends and God was right there with us. Even so he led us to establish an empowerment group as a support system to those in our communities. For those facing challenges like ours. For those looking for balance. For those needing a support system. For those needing friends. And that’s when #pHriends was born.
As a group we realized we balanced each other out for various reasons. Although we relate on so many levels, we experienced different challenges. We had different family and social dynamics. Different professional experiences and areas of expertise. We relied on each other to find our balance and in turn kept our power. For our group, we identified 7 areas that are essential to establishing and maintaining a balanced lifestyle: Health, Community, Social, Family, Professional, Financial, and Spiritual. These areas became our primary focus for pHriends.
We hope that through our friendship we can empower you to find your balance and keep your power.
Welcome to our #pHriendship.
Regina Wright, pHriends pHounder