Updated: Jan 3, 2020
Every path we cross is for a reason. Every connection we make has purpose.
The same is true for friends. Friends are planted in our lives purposely. Some bring wisdom and render support during difficult times. While others pass through leaving us with lessons learned. Friends can challenge our patience, but they also help stimulate our personal growth. The roots of friendships are bonded with mutual trust and concern, love and respect, and shared emotions. We find comfort in knowing these people were planted in our lives with cause. But the truth is, every friends roots aren’t nourishing.
Like plants, we all have roots that define who we are. They fuel our passions and help set our intentions. When we establish friendships, our roots connect a healthy bonding helps them sustain. As people. we are social creatures. We initially make connections based on social compatibility. We make fast friends through shared interests, similar beliefs, and same hobbies. At this point we don’t know that much about each other.
In the beginning we judge character based on how we interact. But regardless of how nice a friend seems, you got to get to the roots. We know that saying about wolves in sheep’s clothing. Unfortunately, some friends are wolves in disguise.
Be careful of friends who prey on:
But of course, when our friends fall on tough times, we feel inclined to help. Especially if you're emotionally sensitive to the misfortunes of others. But be careful. That friend might just be taking advantage of your kindred spirit. Before you know it they're venting to you about everything. Only because they know you wear your heart on your sleeve.
You foot the bill for a friends lunch every now and then. Or pay for parking when you guys head out. You do it because you want to, not expecting anything in return. You do small gestures like these out of the kindness of your heart. Sad thing is, some friends get comfortable with that routine and eventually start expecting that you will take care of it. When the check comes, they claim they’ll Cash App or Venmo their share but never do. Then you wind up paying the parking, like always.
Seems like you’re always available for your friends. Or could it be you just make time for your friends and loved ones. You make it to every dinner, girls night, or special event. Whatever the case, when your presence is requested you try to be there. You even step in from time to time and help where you can. You’ll get thanks for always being there. But when you need that friend to reciprocate, they’re rarely available.
Friendships need healthy roots the same way people need water. Like plants, friendship roots determine how healthy the relationship is. The roots are the foundation and like an anchor, they help secure the bond. Unfortunately, not knowing whats happening at the roots can be damaging. But once you know what you know, you know. Don't over water damaged roots.
Are your friendship roots nourishing?